sort-of-fairytale

2012-01-07T23:06:00.001Z

ir pavisam jauns gads. un kopš pēdējo reizi mani mocīja sajūta, ka ir kaut kas atstājams šeit, lai paliktu kāds pieturpunkts , ir mainījies tik ļoti daudz kas.

es esmu pavisam gatava doties tālāk, iespējams tieši preti i neticamajam, i nepareizajam, i šobrīd neaptveramajam.

man reizēm šķiet, ka tas ir tāpat kā sadoties ar otru rokās un tad ātri, ātri griezties uz riņķi. vai arī tāpat kā sajust tirpas noskrienam pa muguru. tāds mirkļa reibums.

kaut gan vislabāk par to visu šo brīdi var noraksturot mana trakā mīlestība uz debesīm. visvairāk tieši uz manām, Latvijas debesīm. un nestāstiet man, ka tās visur vienādas. nava, nava. bet jā, uz debesīm.

tu, cilvēks, paskaties augšup vienā brīdi un saproti, kas viss, viss, viss tur ir! un nav būtiski vai tas ir pelēks pelēkums, kas piepilda telpu, vai saraknoranži degoši mākoņi, jebšu zila tīra bļoda pār mani, ne jau tajā tā sāls. bet debesīs, augšā, tur. tādos brīžos viss pēkšņi pats saliekās plauktiņos un rātni ielokās atvilktnītēs un es zinu, ka esmu pareizajā vietā.

vieta ir pareiza, jā, bet kur tieši es atrodos, es patiesībā nezinu. es vēl esmu pazaudējusies mirklī. un ir laiks gaidīt. ir laiks augt. un ir laiks atgriezties pašai pie sevis. un būt un elpot iekš tieši septiņām zaļā nokrāsām un pukstēt ar zaļiem, zaļiem sirdspukstiem.

p.s. Piezvaniet manai meitenei, kad viņa ir vīnā un lupatās, piezvaniet manai meitenei, kad viņa smejas, aizlaužot glāžu kājiņas, piezvaniet viņai, kad pirksti sametas, sasienot bijušo kopā ar šodienu un viņa pārkož mezglu ar zobiem, piezvaniet manai meitenei, kad viņa smejas pār kāzu galdiem un pelmeņi sakrīt saimniecēm klēpjos tēlot rožvaigu mantiniekus, piezvaniet manai meitenei, kad baznīcu torņos klusē vārnas un svētdiena nav mūsu plānos, piezvaniet manai meitenei, kad viņa rokas pār sliedēm atdod, pa kurām aizbraukt uz jūru, lai neatgrieztos nekad, nekad, veselu nedēļu, piezvaniet manai meitenei, kad viņa atdod atslēgas, grāmatas, matu sprādzes un dienas, piezvaniet meitenei manai, kad raud viņa, parketa dēlīšos saskatot ozolu audzes, piezvaniet manai meitenei, kad katra lāsteka runā uz viņu par zīda palagu glāstiem un trolejbusi par kuģiem, un acu skati par stāstiem, kas aizskrien gar acīm kā filma, kā dūmos uzzīmēts vainags, piezvaniet manai meitenei, esiet žēlīgi, piezvaniet, lai tad, kad es atgriežos mājās, es atrodu viņu bez rētām.
/Inga Gaile/

2011-01-01T23:49:00.000Z

you

you tell me that opposites attract

and you

you put on pink floyd and you wrap me up

i hear you

not

i see you

not

i am yours

not

another brick in the wall, and another

another candle in the wind, and another

so you don't move and you do not act

there is so much that you do

lack

so you you you you

bring me strawberries on a grey day

and hold me up close, round my waist as we sway

and the forest comes close and the oceans do split

I am helpless and whiny in fear of your wit

and

i hear you

not

i see you

not

i am yours

not

2010-12-22T16:02:00.000Z

they were inflamed

seduced by the light of butterflies

how they shimmer, how they glimmer

those butterflies

CocoRosie - Lemonade from Souterrain Transmissions on Vimeo.

hold hands

2010-12-02T13:04:00.000Z

people hold hands. and it works.

some people feel the need to rush through their days on as few breaths as possible- thats how you make fear burn faster, like calories from a sneaky chocolate bar.

you get busy. you do things. you fight for things, for justice, for a better world. you help your family, your friends, your fellow citizens sometimes even.

it is the belonging. belonging to your job, your studies, or whatever it is that you do. you feel that what you`re doing is the right thing for you just now. if it isnt- well you...drop it, i guess. and if you cant- well, you endure. either way- you sort of belong, for one reason or another. the mere thought that 'i dont belong here' ephasizes this very point.

when you get busy, you belong. when you fight for a better world, you belong. when you support your family- you belong.

so people hold hands. they rest their heads on a soulmate's shoulder. they long to belong.

2010-10-22T16:46:00.001+01:00

so it is my passion that drives me. so i sense a little tingle, something moves, something makes me think this really matters and I hop on.

so i stay Humean, i let the passion drive me. sometimes its forward, mostly its forward, yet, it has to be said, sometimes it makes you run back where you came from.

but it never leaves me indifferent, im always on the move.

and when I am good to others, it is because they are like me- i see it, i recognize it and I feel compassion, love and understanding towards them. And they will embrace me with the exact same feelings.

and then there is reason. slave, servant, for some, even minion to their passions. but just as the passions, that live inside us, so the reason can take many shapes and forms and be skilled and well-trained or, on the contrary- lazy and clumsy.

so how do you train your servant? give him lessons? make him practice? take him to Sparta?

private tutoring every night at 19.00?

I do not know.

so, yesterday I was walkng home, just about 18.30 i think it was, and it was bloody raining cats and dogs and i had to rush home, cause i had this thing ...and then a car that was passing me, stopped. the window opened and a very familiar voice said: hop on, I`ll drive you home. so I hop on and let he car drive me home. i always let the car drive me home.

es ilgojos tavas klātbūtnes

2010-08-22T01:22:00.000+01:00

tu esi tāda maza, izsapņotu vēlmju pilna muļķīte. tuk-tuk (kas tur?) pret krūtīm un neļauj mierā gulēt. tu dari gauži sev un citiem arī. tuk-tuk (kas tur?) pret krūšu-kurvi un ilgojies pēc visa tā, kas tev neaizsniedzams, pēc visiem tiem, kas tevis neredz, pēc tā, kurš nebūs nebūs nebūs tev nekad. pēc tā, ko nedrīkst. pat tad, ja ļoti gribas.

tuk-tuk

un neviens nenāk iekšā

piparmētras

2010-08-21T01:31:00.001+01:00

Šovakar debesis ir vienās liesmās, deg rozā un sarkanos, un dzeltenos, un oranžos uguņos un silda mani un apskauj, kā viegli nojaušama siltuma smarža istabā, kur tu esi sēdējis un dzēris pērnā gada piparmētru tēju vien brīdi pirms manis. Es pārāk bieži pārnāku par vēlu- tu jau esi aizgājis un es nepasēju tevi noķert. Vien piparmētru tējas smaržu,to gan. No otras puses, varbūt tu vienkārši vienmēr atnāc pārāk ātri.

Varbūt, ka tas nemaz nav būtiski, varbūt svarīgi ir vien tas, ka mūsu klātesamība dala vienu telpu, ka mēs sasmaržojam vienas piparmētras, ka es zinu, ka tu te esi bijis un ka tu zini, ka es drīz atnākšu. Varbūt, ka viss ir apslēpts cerībā.Varbūt, ka mums nekas vairāk nav vajadzīgs un nekas vairāk nepienākas.

Liesmo, liesmo debesis un viss ir tā, kā tam būtu jābūt. Deg rozā un sarkanos un dzeltenos, un oranžos uguņos un es šūpojos rītdienas nojaušamībā.

un pavisam ne no kurienes

2010-08-07T00:38:00.000+01:00

es sajūtu un saprotu, ka manis ir par daudz. tas, kas sajūtās iekšpusē, uz ārpusi iznāk pavisam pārvērstā veidā. sanāk, ka manim nepieciešams 'ļots editings".

es esmu apmulsusi. šīs ir sajūtas, kuras biju aizmirsusi. šī ir apziņa, ka ir pavisam citādi.

kad tevi tavi mīļie ir sadalījuši tik daudzās dažādās daļās, ir grūti saprast, kas es esmu, kad esmu viena.

______________________

nav nav nav Indras

2010-07-24T10:06:00.001+01:00

remember that time i said you should be careful when drinking the 'all-is-bombastically-fantastically-harmonized-wine'? true that. the hungover afterwards is excruciating. glad that's over. the hungover, of course, not the Utopian illusion. so now time for round2!

2010-06-15T21:44:00.000+01:00

un es zinu tagad pa īstam, ka pametot jūras akmentiņus pret debešu mutēm, tos ir nepieklājīgi gaidīt atpakaļ. nebirs, nebirs, ne akmentiņi, ne asaras, nebirs. gravitāti šeit velk uz augšu, uz augšu vien. un aizlido lietus. un asaras. aizlido akmentiņi.

2010-06-06T15:52:00.000+01:00

and so it is, just like you said it would be.

if you find me, hide me, I dont know where Ive been.

...and many more extracts yet to come.

they will come and push the thoughts into certain order, they will make sure I think it all makes sense.

but it is ok, cause all I have left is my honesty and my deep respect and admiration. and i will sharpen the tools and I shall conquer the fear.

for I am mine.

2010-05-22T04:04:00.000+01:00

it has been taken away. it has been given back.

it was never lost, it is still breathing over my shoulder.

i want to explain it to you, i want to breathe on your neck, but im so tired, ive been running, im out of breath, i cant, there is no air left in my lungs.

i want my friend back. i want her to hold my hand. i also want her to tell me it will be f(m)ine and that there is no need to be sad and that pain is liquid, like milk. you pour it over your doubts and eat it as cereal.

i only want to give you a hug.

2010-05-17T02:46:00.000+01:00

es neesmu tik skumja, tā, kā tev liekas.

es neesmu tik iemīlējusies, kā tev liekas.

nekas

nekas nav tā, kā tev liekas.

2010-04-27T22:07:00.000+01:00

tasting tiny sips of howitfeelsliketoknowthateverythingisjustthewayitshouldbe wine.

careful, drinking too fast will make you noxious. sip by sip. let your body get used to the taste. to the effect. see if it leaves hungover...

im on it.

2010-03-30T01:05:00.000+01:00

everything is irreversible. even if you are not aware of it.

all the decisions- we have already made them. and we keep on making them. we might not be aware of it.

but we will get there.

ill get there.

im getting there.

im there.

im sorry.

2010-03-01T02:12:00.000Z

the tiny little fears- we all know them, oh, so well. some people have reached the mastery of being able to totally ignore the high squeeky voices somewhere within. they live. they proceed. they do not procrastinate. or if they do, there' s no guilt.

some of us are not quite as lucky. the tiny fears get to us. fear of anything. of tripping over before people you admire. throwing up in the bus. perhaps something more profound- failing an exam. never leaving your town. losing your job. being dumped. losing your parents. losing your keys, your wallet, your reputation. losing your mind, your love, your tickets to opera. and you supress them, or at least some good 4/5 of them, cause most things you worry about never happen, right?

but what if they do happen? does the fact that you've had the fear of them in you, help? do you feel more prepared? do you think of yourself as being wise, experenieced and ready for all future slaps, cause you believe now you saw it coming all along?

and what if you lose everything? what if they come to you, swirl your life into a tornado, a whirlpool, a vortex, that throws it all in the air and leaves you with nothing? what if it lifts you up and takes you away from all that you have ever known, everyone and everything you have ever loved and hated, your people, your language, yourself? what if you suddenly find yourself in New York and you are all alone and nothing and noone' s there and you have zero options at your disposal. there's nothing to use as foundation, what then? what do you do when all that had been your context is erased?

well, you die a little. and die once more. and you start over. you start again. right?

2010-02-11T00:43:00.000Z

it is easy. it is also impossible. and i dont mean like two sides of a coin. it is more like a ball of colourful patches- interlinked, mixed, absorbed by each other. it makes you inspired and makes you never want to leave your bed. it gives you warmth, chills your spine and touches you softly while scratching on your skin. all those bits merge and melt into this big pot of liquid motives, inspirations and imaginary friends. if you hear this, it means you are one of us- you are a machine, you are a transistor and you are so very sensitive-you pick up all those signals and you must respond, you are a machine that responds. the signals will come from all around and so you will bend- to all sides, towards all corners, you will bend in twisted angles, you will respond-its your purpose and your trademark.

you will melt in my hands. you will respond.

2010-02-01T03:30:00.000Z

tas ir kā stāvēt tam visam pa vidu. tas ir kā skatīties augšup, cerēt, ka mitēsies, vai varbūt mainīs virzienu. ne tā izmisīgi cerēt, jūs mani nepārprotiet, bet, ziniet, tā vienkārši gaidīt, ka varbūt, varbūt pamainīs virzienu. jo jau ilgi, tās lapas uz riņķi vien iet, vējš pa apli un augšup vien tās lapas pūš. un tur ir tā viena, kas nav ne kļavu, ne bērzu, ne rūtiņu, bet tieši bēša vēstuļu papīra. tur tik daudz kā man mīļa varētu būt. tur tik daudz kā biedējoša un sveša varētu būt. bet man tā ir rakstīta, to jau var just. un lido, uz riņķi, lido, pa apli un augšup vien.

tā tas ir. kā stāvēt pa vidu. tad aizvērt plakstus un sagaršot pēkšņu klusumu un neticēt un ļaut pulsam kāpt un baidīties skatīt un elpot un cerēt un atvērt acis un sajust uz plaukstas un lasīt un lasīt un visu sajust un smaidīt un smaidīt un smaidīt un

2010-01-29T01:32:00.000Z

what will you do when leaves of the trees will come alive and whisper to you the tales of all that has been and all that is yet to come? will you follow your destiny or will you simply admit yourself having fallen to new levels of insanity?

as to me, i would embrace them and celebrate the beginning of new friendship.

2010-01-21T01:06:00.001Z

man šķiet, ir atpakaļ. man atkal ir ko teikt latviešu valodā.

un es gribu pateikt vien to, ka debesis citādi liesmo brīžos, ka uguns tur iekurta no tevis paša dzirkstelēm. tas ir tāpat kā dedzinot gumiju nāk melni dūmi, bet, dedzinot papiru, smaržo pēc mirušiem vārdiem. pavisam citāds tas efekts.

2010-01-18T01:32:00.000Z

to rise and experience rebirth through burning- its a well constructed illusion- you know it never happens. circles-thats all it is.

but we would not know, we are like a goldfish, 7 seconds of memories and we are back to the square one. human life- what is if not just a never ending yearning for something that will never come? tas ir kaut kas nojaushams, bet ne notverams.

make me stop.

2009-12-13T03:32:00.000Z

it is because of things like this, for things that you every so often do, that i love you.

you will forever be in my heart.

Look up.Don't look down. Take me. Don`t leave me.

2009-12-05T18:19:00.000Z

yesterday i said never forget. today im saying- there is more for you to remember. so here goes notion number two. and its up to you whether you will take it as yesterday vs today or perhaps this is just the next step you will take after yesterday`s pain. cause love will come through.

never forget

2009-12-03T21:50:00.001Z

kick me

2009-11-30T15:25:00.000Z

i can try and understand the concept of it, but i cannot find the roots of it. i cannot understand fully what it is that makes us or, i don`t know, maybe it is only me, who follows it, let it win over. i mean, what is it, that gives us the kick to finally pull ourselves together and make a move? a proper move that is, touch upon our potential a little bit, push ourselves like we should have, believe we can work for the better and overcome the fear of whatever that hesitation and wining is all about? is it always something external, that does this or has it always been within us? if it has, how come we don't stumble upon it at some earlier point? and how do i know how long this will last? is there really no other way than just acting upon it while its here? i am not spending more time on this analysis. not while i can still feel i`ve been pushed to work a little harder.

ill speak to yous later.

ramble ramble, this has no structrue

2009-11-14T02:23:00.000Z

the search for my peace will never stop, it sometimes seems. the restlessness,the doubt, the yearning for the certainty that can be granted only by the sudden realization- i know this is what i want, i`ll take this path. why the hesitation? i have no explanation.

life throws you around as if you were a kauchuk ball- your dreams can fly far, yet they will always fling back to what you really are, to your essence, your soul, if you will.

life actually does more to you than that. want to know what else?

here`s an illustration. you sit there, being a small, soft and relatively smug...little rodent. don't know why rodent, they are kinda cute, i think.

so you sit there, living away and just next to you there`s Life, just hanging there- in the shape of this huge (in comparison to the rodent, of course) teenage boy. this boy has a fork in his hand and he gently(in the beginning at least) pokes you, the little smug rodent, with it. "say you love me", says Life, "saaaaay it". and if you dont answer straight away, it will poke just a smidge harder. and then it will leave you alone and then come back and do the same thing over. if you will resist for too long, you might piss Life off, so be careful. trust me on this one. just a moment ago, Life forked me so deep the juices came out and i had to weep. no, not weep only, sob.whimper. cry out loud, you know, in voice. and i had to tell the Life i love him, i had to. i had to promise i`ll open my eyes and start breathing, i will see myself for what i am, i wont let my happiness go, i will not destroy the chances. and you end up saying thank you to Life, for putting everything in the right places.

p.s. i was about to write this one down and just when i was about to start typing i realized- once more and again i am so tempted to begin with the usual three words- i don`t know. why is that? why am i so tempted to excuse myself before i have even given the statement? the hell with that.

i dont expect no answers

2009-10-27T01:28:00.001Z

its been too long. maybe that's why the level of confusion is as high as it is. maybe to drain the bad blood is what it takes for peace to arrive. maybe the draining should be delivered in a forced manner.

but no, it cannot be. for always i have let it go, when it has to be let. i am not one of those who go about digging deep graves to bury their corpses of failures, mistakes, apologies, regrets and dreams.

maybe there is some hidden protection mechanism in place?

maybe mine`s faulty?

what will i do when it`s all gone? who will pick up the pieces?

how can one find himself when autumn never really leaves?

how do I protect you when your armour is stronger than my touch?

what do I do with this old sofa?

how do we fix this?

are you still there?

dont say your goodbyes now, we`ll meet again

2009-08-17T16:40:00.000+01:00

i have no other choice but to sit on my doorstep and stare into the sky, to stare at the sunset and let it slip away. yes, it is still here with me, the sky burns with deepest shades of reds and yellows and oranges, yes, it is still here with me, but the ever-present feeling of losing it is taking over.
the burning ball of flames is sinking into the subtle, yet firmly drawn line at the horizon and with it my shades of reds and yellows and oranges...fade.
and yes, i am happy.for i have been lucky, for i have been blessed, for i have felt you taming my sun. yet seeing the road in front of your feet curling away makes my eyelids heavy, and my lashes bend under their weight.

yes, i am thankful we`ve met. but your leaving makes my tea taste bitter.

2009-08-15T14:33:00.001+01:00

...and my heart still beats

to sum up all the ways things have been going, have gone, are going and will continue to go on. and away.

2009-07-25T12:34:00.000+01:00

whispering

morning, keep the street empty for me

2009-05-14T15:33:00.001+01:00

one of the things i miss here are the trolleybuses.

it`s one of those things you cannot explain properly, unless you have experienced it.
you cannot feel the same as me, unless you`ve grown up ridding trolleybuses.
in a trolleybuss, the greyness you see through raindrop covered windows, reaches new levels of softness and the endless sadness falls upon you slower and quieter. and it is calming- it makes you believe what you have always suspected- this is the right feeling, this is how im supposed to feel, i am the autumn, i am the birds, who fly away, i am the whisper. it makes you believe what you always have suspected. it makes you love the autumn.

one of the things i miss here is autumn. i mean, trolleybuses. i mean you. i mean me.

2009-05-13T18:33:00.001+01:00

remember- you have less friends than you think you do.

2009-05-04T16:24:00.000+01:00

im never far away, even when i am and even when its been a while.

they WILL eat me alive.

2009-03-26T22:58:00.000Z

in the happy days, i mean, when all is bright and every single one of us are happy beings, i mean, when the days are happy, it is easier to forget yourself, it is easier to forget where you are and who you are and when was the last time you got lost in the meadows or when was the last time the fog wrapped you up or when you ran out of breath. in the happy days, the need of taking snapshots of the ever-floating verses of truth seems not that essential after all.

in the happy days all is brighter. in the happy days i take my moments to look up and dream away for a while. i think of everything and nothing and all the thoughts are wierd and charming. on the happy days all the thoughts are happy-like the thought of the end of the world, for example. i turn my eyes to the sky and there it is- flaming in the brightest highlights of pinks and greens and purples. like an extreme photoshop curve modification, like an oldschool poster it burns and floats and makes me dizzy just by looking at it. and the clouds, oh the clouds..! they thicken up and swell and get bigger in seconds, in 10ths of seconds, no, quicker, sooner, now! and then they explode, one by one, they burst open and pour bright confetti of birds and candy and flowers and photos and postcards and little clouds of smoke and chocolates and all the little things, like envelopes, fairy dust and daffodils over me! and if i look around, there they all are- all the people i know and all the people i love and people i know i love and people i dont yet know i love and people who dont know i love them and people that i will never know and who will never know ive fallen in love with them- there they all are, looking up to the sky, inhaling the colours, greeting the end of the world. and they are smiling.
all of them are smiling.
and i am happy.

Mofo- Raķete
Miss Li- Tuck You In
The Knife- One For You

2009-03-11T02:43:00.000Z

many of my dreams came true. i just hadnt thought them through.

i promise i will be more careful from now on.

snow patrol-run

2009-03-08T11:12:00.000Z

-Tas nav gājiens.
-Kas tad?
Viņi saka, ka vienkārši stāvēšot un sadošoties rokās.
-Tas ir atļauts?
-Vai tad tas ir kaut kas aizliegts?

-It is not a demonstration.
-What then?
They are saying they are only going to stand there and hold hands.
-Is that allowed?
-Well is that something forbidden?

(P. Bankovskis, Baltijas ceļš- The Baltic way)

2009-03-07T01:13:00.000Z

its most chilling when you are not heard just when you need it the most. when you need to be heard so goddamn much.

got silence?

2009-03-02T16:05:00.000Z

2009-03-02T01:49:00.000Z

nothing works
noone sleeps

someone`s so lost he`ll have to fall
someone`s so nervous she`ll have to laugh

2009-02-28T03:45:00.000Z

i wish you saw the darkness in me too and we cold sit down in the smokey clouds of the uncertain, with no guilt and ugliness and ignorance to beauty and virtues an just hold hands and save each other from dissapereance

they say-don't let it go

they say-don't waste it

they say- you`ll be alone

i say- i better have a glimpse of you and me looking in each others eyes, than them saying- you`ve done the right thing.

i wish you`d open up. i wish i was stronger. i wish we`d find each other.

stay a little longer. stay with me.

a glimpse of the so-called paradise

2009-02-23T10:58:00.000Z

2009-02-22T18:01:00.000Z

borrowed ideas.

2009-02-19T23:35:00.000Z

if you take off your mask, i swear to you- i`ll work on my past.

if you make my soul rhyme with my mind, i swear to you- ill stay with you forever.

someone should tell us that none is ever going to happen, otherwise we are just standing here, wasting our time.
looking at them.
and hoping. hoping.

2009-02-17T15:01:00.000Z

something`s in the branches. someone`s there.

i am sitting by the window and wishing for the herd of the nobodies to travel back in time for me. to come back, to pick me up by a single sight of novelty, inspire me with smell of the everlasting fortune`s presence, to shake off the dust of the present, which has now covered my eyelids with heavy fluff of greyness. so heavy it has been, i can barely remember the sky and the monasteries.
if only they came back for me, id feed them with the red berries i grow, i would feed them with the berries for four eternities and they would give me Victorian seeds in return, to bring forth my relocation, my emerald green transformation. i wish they could travel back in time to get me and take me away.

something`s moving in the branches, something`s moving in the trees. someone`s shadow`s crawling through the grass.

2009-02-16T16:57:00.000Z

in simplest and easiest manner, she fell before her.

and no silence can be taken back, no unspoken words to be released.

your door is sealed and all the birds have flown away.

Placebo- Blind

2009-02-16T03:05:00.000Z

maybe i should just post an advert somewhere.

it could be a simple, one-sentenced message: will buy a peace of mind, price to be agreed upon(may exchange to my very own bloody, ticking muscle).

i still have left pieces of it somewhere in the chambers of my chest and if you will say- i`ll give you a bit of peace for it, id say- you have got yourself a deal, buddy.

lhasa-con toda palabra

2009-02-15T02:09:00.000Z

we all have something that scares us.it does not have to be a phobia(though it may be), it may be just something that frightens us, something that we gladly avoid, if possible. at all costs.

and here`s mine -things that break easily. or rather, things that can be easily broken by my hand.

balloons
light bulbs
wine glasses
hearts
and such.

shhhh. don`t talk. let me just look at you.

2009-02-12T23:50:00.000Z

- i wish you didn't take all that aggression out on me.
-what can i do, my friend, when that is all ive got for the world tonight.

so how can i be lost, when i got nowhere to go?

sia-breathe me

2009-02-12T23:38:00.000Z

funny-ness of feminism related lectures.

"women are cold and moist, thats why they have things like periods and thats why they get pregnant. and actually, they are only inverted men, thats all. so, imperfection. Moreover, they are enslaved by their sexuality, which destroys their reason and their rationality."

word hysteria comes from greek word for uteris

and rosseau, my friend, you too, Brut!

however, the truth pearl from a 18th century conduct book called "the art of governing a wife" :

you must NEVER oppose a woman in her fury. (Ever)

2009-02-12T00:39:00.000Z

a tiny little postcard to all of yous out there waiting for the 14th. have a bloody jolly valentines day.

*stating the obvious-a lil representation of a heart*

and sparkles, rainbows, pink flying ponies.

2009-02-12T00:38:00.000Z

im lousy. im crap at catching moments and writing them down on the paper, here, elsewhere, anywhere...
when you want to fix things, this is what you get in return, oh so often.
you try and run away from things. or better- you go and try to teach yourself how to make things not linger around you for ages. how not to let sadness stay. and then all of a sudden- everything goes pass you. things don't stay. you have dis-attached yourself from events, from memories. you cry for a wee while and then- it has never happened. you laugh- and it fades away before you`ve even chuckled.

2009-01-12T01:22:00.000Z

why ever write things down? they tend to run away from me otherwise or hide at least, but i want them within my reach. its safer that way.
so breathe, take a moment and start a race. to capture the moments, to tie em up and pin em up on the walls of memory. and then, once thats done, the safety will come and in the cold evenings they will warm me more than any fire ever has